


Twenty-Six is More Like Sixteen

by CoffeesForFuckers



Series: Gay Boys Doing Some Gay Shit [12]
Category: Falling in Reverse, I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band), Panic! at the Disco, The Brobecks
Genre: Anal Sex, BTW, Blow Jobs, Bryan (Brief) (Ryan Seaman/Brendon Urie), But I almost got 10000???, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gay, I thought like maybe 2-3000 words, I'm confused to my sudden burst of modivation, I've written such long shit lately what????, Kissing, LGBT, Love, M/M, NSFW, Past Love, Random - Freeform, Ryden (Mentioned), Sex, Smut, This is so much longer than I expected tbh, Weekman, anyway, brallon (Brief), idk why, lots of talk about Masterbating, read my stuff cause im a hoe, teenage love, thankksss, weekeman, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 10:26:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11757891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeesForFuckers/pseuds/CoffeesForFuckers
Summary: All I do know right now is three things;One: Dallon has a much bigger dick than I ever expected.Two: I definitely never outgrew that crush because holy shit.Three: I am aroused and want tacos.





	Twenty-Six is More Like Sixteen

**Author's Note:**

> Send me Weekman stuff cause this ship is taking over my life help

Sixteen year olds are really, really fucking dumb.

They don’t know anything and they’ll bust a nut over anything that has a pulse. (And they also may, or may not also occationally orgasam to some inanimate objects sometimes).

I was pretty dumb at that age, I admit. I came in my pants everytime I even thought about my best friend, I mean, he’s hot as hell and funny and pretty much the definition of what I look for in a person, how could I not have a weird little boy-crush on him. 

I got over it by Senior year in high school, I realized that it was of no use just before we started planning to move in with each other and choosing colleges (that we didn’t end up attending). He was straight, so obliviously straight that it was almost ridiculous. He had girls (And myself) drooling over him and swooning just by hearing his name and yet he still insisted that he didn’t ever need to be with any of them. He said he was far too busy for them.

I actually liked, liking him. He made me so happy just by spending time with me or when I thought about him, it was nice. He still does make me happy but it’s just not the same, you know?

Either way, I moved in with him and feelings faded. I don’t know if it was from being around him so often that I got bored or if it was just some stupid, child-like crush.

It was fun living with him. Staying up late, watching movies, unable to sleep because he’s always having horrendously loud sex and ignoring me.

Did I say fun? Sorry, I meant I wanted instantaneous death.

I get home early in the morning from spending time with my old friend, Ronnie. We got drunk and watched movies and probably did some kind of drugs, knowing him. I woke up and Ronnie was puking from drinking so much, so, I left. I’m a great friend if you couldn’t tell.

It had to be about five in the morning, maybe six? I don’t know as my phone is dead.

I knock on the apartment door, having left my keys at home by accident. I didn’t drive to Ronnie’s so I didn’t think of grabbing the house key.

Nobody comes after five minutes and I’m leaned against the doorframe with my head rested on it as well, my hangover killing me and I felt horribly nauseous from the Uber ride from hell that I had just received.

I ring the doorbell a few times and still nothing. I bang on the door in frustration, “Dallon! Let me in! I forgot my keys!” I shout, “Get up you lazy sack of shit!”

The door opens only a moment later, my eyes move from the person’s bare legs up his body, by the time I reach his waist I can tell it is in fact, not Dallon. 

My eyes meet the strangers and my heart leaps to my throat.

Dallon had fucked this guy…

A  _ guy _ .

Oh my god…

I clear my throat after a moment, the guy not moving out of my way, “Who are you?” He asks me and I glare at him.

“I should be asking you since you’re in  _ my  _ house.” I snap. Why was I so angry about him?

“Oh… You must be Ryan… Dallon mentioned you.” He steps out of the way and I enter, kicking my sneakers off and heading towards the kitchen, “Dallon’s in the shower… Uh, could you tell him I had fun yesterday and I’ll give him a call later. I’ve got to get to work.” He asks me.

“‘Kay.” I grumble as I rifle through the drawers for coffee. The guy gets dressed and leaves as I try and find anything to get rid of this hangover and the stomach ache that set in from the damn car ride.

“Hey handsome how was-... Oh, it’s just you.” Dallon sighs as he enters the kitchen.

“Wow, thanks, missed you too.” I huff as I drop down to sit in one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

“Yeah, yeah…” He rolls his eyes at me.

“When were you going to tell me you were into dudes?” I ask and he freezes.

“Wait… You didn’t know? I just thought… Huh…” He scratches at his chest and I then notice he only has a towel on. My cheeks heat up and I turn away.

“I was never informed of that but, whatever.” I was so angry, why was I so goddamn angry. I never even told Dallon that I was gay!

“Okay…” He hums as he goes looking for coffee as well, “Do you know where Frank went?” He questions as he looks over at me.

“He had to go to work or something. I could care less, I wasn’t really listening.” I stand and go to the fridge, hoping that I had one of my half-drank Marylou’s coffees in there.

“What’s got your dick in a knot?” Asks Dallon.

“Bad hangover, nauseas from a shit Uber ride…” I grumble, “And we have no more damn coffee!” I snap making Dallon jump.

“My god… You are in such a bad mood…” Dallon stops his search, “Hugs?” He holds his arms out and I huff.

“No, fuck off.” I spat even though it’s obvious I want one of his infamous hugs. He was so soft and comforting and he was like a big teddy bear that smelled so good.

Dallon clears his throat and I look over at him stubbornly, he raises a brow and I groan, frowning as I toss my arms around him, pressing my face into his chest.

I then remember there is only a towel between us and his dick and my jeans get way too tight as my cheeks burn red.

“Want me to go get some coffee and you can take a nap?” He says as he lets me go.

“You-... You don’t have to, Dal.” I murmur and he ruffles my hair.

“Go rest, you’re all red and warm, must have a fever.” He says, feeling my forehead.

“Uh, yeah…” I get even redder, “Okay, you know my order, right?”

“Strawberry shortcake iced coffee, caramel, four and four.” He points at me and I smile.

“Thanks Dal.” 

“Go rest, I’ll get ready and be back before you even know it to take care of you.” I nod and make my way to lay on the couch.

“You’re too good to me.”

|||

After gaining the knowledge that my best friend who was extremely hot and very funny and everything I look for in a man, was in fact, gay, I kind of turned into a stupid sixteen year old dumbass that came in his pants every time he thought of his roommate.

It didn’t occur to me that I had regained my crush on him until just today though. 

I was laid out on the couch, phone in hand and some stupid thing on the TV. Dallon was off doing whatever and I decided I wanted to check out some new taco place that was just opened down the street. 

I fumble off the couch and make my way down the hall, “Dallon!” I call out, “Hey, Dal!” 

I get no answer and check our ‘music room’ where he usually was all day, writing, recording, all that jazz. 

He wasn’t there and I frown. I notice that he’s not in the bathroom and decide that he has to be in his room. 

I tap on the door, waiting a few moments and knocking again. I get no answer and being the person I am, I toss the door open, not putting it past Dallon to be sleeping at one in the afternoon.

Though, I entered to him, completely naked on his bed, headphones in, phone in one hand and… Well, his penis in the other.

I stare for much longer than you should stare when you walk in on any person, you know, auditioning the finger puppets, if you get what I’m saying.

I snap out of it and awkwardly choke and whip around, slamming the door behind me. I watch the wall before me with large, wide eyes, shocked beyond comprehension.

“Ryan!” I hear a shout and the door opens behind me, yet I don’t turn around.

“So uh… I noticed you were um… Faxing the Pope.” I laugh anxiously. Holy shit I felt so awkward.

“Um, yeah…” Dallon rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly as I turn to face him, only in his boxers, though it didn't make much difference because I couldn't get that really horrible, sinful, gross, disgusting…  _ Amazing _ image out of my head, “You should have knocked.” He somewhat scolds.

“Well, I did, like a few times and you didn’t answer so I just assumed you were sleeping and not, you know, choking the sheriff and waiting for the posse to come, because I’m not a disgusting pervert and don’t stand around thinking you’re clobbering the kleenex and all.” I ramble a bit more than I should.

“Or I was jacking off… Do you like, have an issue with saying that?” Dallon quizzes as though I hadn’t just seen his dick and I hadn’t just walked in on him firing the flesh musket.

“Not really, I just have an issue with walking in on you pumping the gas at the self-service island.” I give him a forced, awkward as fuck smile, all while avoiding all eye contact with him.

“Okay, but like, what was so important that I had to be interrupted?” We finally get to the reason of why I had just been scared.

“Um, I just wanted tacos man…” I bite down on my bottom lip, “Yeah, I just was wondering if you wanted to come with but you’re too busy cumming in your pants.” I nod and he starts to laugh and once he starts, I do too. I can’t tell whether it’s the awkward tension in the air or if this is actually funny.

All I do know right now is three things; 

One: Dallon has a much bigger dick than I ever expected.

Two: I definitely never outgrew that crush because holy shit.

Three: I am aroused and want tacos.

Is that technically four things?

Oh well, I don’t care. I just saw my childhood best friend worshiping Satan and then realized I wanted to kiss him ( or join him, if you get what I’m implying ), so I truly believe that counting things that I know is the least of my worries.

“I think I could go for tacos, let me go get decent and bathe in holy water.” Dallon jokes and steps back inside his room.

I dash to my room to fix the situation in my jeans that is causing my balls to be shoved into my throat before Dallon was ready.

|||

Dallon and I sit in the food court in the mall, it’s decently crowded. There’s not  _ too  _ many people here but there’s definitely enough to make me ready to hide in a dark hole so I don’t have to talk to any of them.

He nudges my arm just as I’m about to take a bite of the shitty mall chinese food rice and it spills off the fork all over the place, “Jesus Dallon! Look at what you made me do!” I grunt and stab my fork into the mound of rice again with a frown on my lips.

“Look at that guy…” He whispers, “Holy shit… Look at him!” He gasps, nodding toward a man with dark, dark brown hair, almost black. The guy has a few bright tattoos on one arm and a denim-blue button down shirt on with the ends of the short-sleeves rolled up like a fuck-boy. He was also wearing jet-black jeans that were definitely tighter than mine, somehow. 

“Yeah?” I glance at Dallon, jealousy raging within me as I start to eat out of anger, definitely eating way too fast.

“He’s fucking gorgeous!” He hums in awe, not taking his eyes off the man. I eat faster and grumble to myself about how he wasn’t  _ that  _ hot.

The man looks at Dallon and watches him for a second, noticing Dallon turning a deep red and looking away from him. It must’ve caught the guy’s eye as he approaches us.

“Hey, I noticed you staring.” He sounds much too cheery about catching a stranger watching him in a mall. 

“Oh… Um, well… I- uh… I- just…” Dallon stammers and I roll my eyes.

“He thinks your hot or some shit.” I spat out of anger as I turn my full attention to my half-eaten food, shoveling it into my mouth to distract me. 

The guy was so hot and I knew Dallon would so be bringing him home at some point and I would be stuck in the living room watching rom-coms by myself and crying.

I listen to them talk and Dallon is fucking drooling over this kid, swooning as he overenthusiastically gives the guy his number. I faintly make out the name of the guy, Brendon or Brandon… Something like that.

I was so distracted by my food that I didn't even notice him leave.

“You seem angry? I'll help you get a girls number if you really want…” Dallon offers and I shake my head.

“No. I’m not upset.” I say, obviously agitated.

“Liar.” He says as I finish my chinese food and sit back, looking at him as I now have nothing else to distract me.

“I’m not lying.” I huff and regret eating so fast.

“You are, I know you, remember.” Dallon gives me a nudge, “I can also see that you made yourself sick ‘cause you’re a dumbass.” He points out and I glare at him.

“Shut up.” I grumble, “And just saying, just because you’re my best friend doesn’t mean you know everything about me.” I sigh as I lean my head on my arm on the table.

“What?” Dallon mocks hurt, “Well, you don’t know everything about me either then!” He mutters.

“Sure. Let’s go home.” I say and stand from the table.

He chuckles, “Okay, give me the keys, I’ll drive.” He says, holding out a hand and I take his hand in mine instead of giving him the keys, “You fucking moron.” He laughs, “Give me the keys.” I let him go and give him what he requested.

“Carry me to the car.” I whine.

“No, stupid, you can walk.” He chuckles and bumps his hip to mine and starts to walk.

“Ass.”

|||

Dallon hadn’t been alone in weeks. Him and that Brandon kid were constantly together and it was beyond annoying. They weren’t even fucking! It was just like, hanging out and watching movies and being in my way.

I was beyond pissed about it, I was mostly just jealous but I refused to admit that. Though it seems that Brandon had friend-zoned Dallon for some guy named Ryan, which was awkward for me.

But, this all changes when Dallon isn’t home.

There’s a knock on the front door and I sigh and get up, there’s another knock as I’m making my way over, “I’m coming, calm down!” I shout.

I toss the door open a moment later and find a crying Brandon stood before me, “Hey, Dallon isn’t here, you alright?” I step aside.

Hey, I may hate him and all but I’m not heartless.

He enters, sniffling and shaking, “Do you know when he’ll be back?” He mumbles.

“Not really… I thought he was with you… You’re uh… Welcome to hang out with me until he gets home.” I hum.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” He mutters.

“Listen, I know that you probably don’t like me and that I’m not fond of you either and I also have the same name of that guy you’re with or whatever but I’m not the worse person to be around for just a little while.” I grumble as I sit on the couch.

He seems to be pondering whether or not he should join me. He does nonetheless and it’s awkward as all hell.

“So… Um… What’s wrong?” I ask him and he sits there silently for a bit too long.

“Ryan left me.” He informs and I look at him weird for a second before remembering that I wasn’t the only Ryan on the face of the earth.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” I speak softly and hesitantly rub his back in attempt to comfort him.

“Yeah, um… Dallon would get it more than you.” He murmurs distastefully.

“Then tell me about it so that I can get it.”

And so he does. He talks about this guy for a while and then I start talking about my stupid boy-crush, not naming names of course. And soon enough we’re both talking and laughing like friends.

“You know, you’re really good looking.” Brendon complements. (I also have received the knowledge that his name is in fact, not Brandon).

“Oh, wow… Thank you… Um, you are as well.” I reply, rubbing at the back of my neck.

Brendon slides closer to me on the couch, we’re sat with our legs criss-crossed and facing each other. His knees touch mine and he stares at his hands in his lap.

“Your tattoos are really pretty.” I say, running my fingers over them, tracing the outlines of a few.

“Thanks. They’re all special.” He chuckles.

“You seem like a pretty special dude so, I get it.” I laugh and he looks up at me.

He kisses me.

I kiss back at first, his lips are plump and soft.

But then I remember Dallon is pretty much in love with him and I was in love with Dallon and everything about this was more than wrong.

I jump to my feet and toss my hands up.

“Whoa! I-... I am sorry, Brendon but my best friend is like, in love with you and well, um, I can’t hurt him. I love him and couldn’t hurt him like that.” I shake my head and he looks at me, I then see myself, I see the way that I look at Dallon and the way Dallon looks at him. 

It hurts and I feel awful about it but, I can’t date him, I can’t be with him because I love the man that is in love with him.

“I’m sorry, Ryan… I’m really sorry.” He shakes his head and stands.

The door opens and Dallon steps in as he does so.

“Oh, Brendon! Ryan! You two are finally hanging out!” He exclaims and we nod.

“Yeah…” We say in unison.

“Well, I was just about to leave…” Brendon sighs and makes his way to the door.

“You don’t have to leave.” Dallon frowns, obviously seeing that something was wrong.

“Yeah, I kinda do… Talk to you later, Dallon.” He exits and Dallon instantly looks at me.

“What did you do?” He growls at me.

“What the fuck, Dal!? I didn’t do anything!” I shout in defence.

“He just left here so fast it was like he was a thief at a crime scene.” He hisses at me and I fume with anger.

“Fuck you! I didn’t do shit!” I snap, I couldn’t believe he was blaming me! I was the person that he’d known his whole life! His best friend!

“You obviously did, Ryan! You know that I like him and want to ruin it!” He snarls with distaste and I break.

“Well, I was going to spare your fucking feelings and be a good friend and not say shit but  _ I  _ didn’t do fucking anything! Brendon kissed me, Dallon! He doesn’t want you! I know by the way he looks at me! It’s the same way that-... That you look at him! I’m sorry, Dal. I’m so sorry but fucking seriously… I even broke the kiss because I know how much you want him… And you have the audacity to blame me…” I don’t wait around long enough to see his reaction and I stomp down the hall and slam my bedroom door.

And somehow I was still fucking aroused by him.

|||

I calmed down after about an hour of corralling the tadpoles and I went to talk with Dallon. I found him in his room, he was really upset, crying by himself, sat in the center of his bed, hugging his pillow to his face. I climb onto the bed with him and he looks up at me. He frowns at me and presses his face back into the pillow.

“Go away.” He huffs.

“No.” I sigh, “I’m so sorry, Dallon.” I hug him and he looks at me sadly.

“Help me get him. Please…” He pleads and I feel sick just thinking of setting the man I’m in love with up with the man who’s in love with me.

“I… I don’t know if I can…” I sigh, “He’s not worth it Dal…”

“I think I’m in love with him.”

There goes my heart.

“I know how it is to love someone you can’t have…” I look away, depressed, “It hurts, it sucks and all but it’s gonna be okay.” I mumble softly.

“Who?” Dallon asks and I open my mouth, quickly about to reply before I even think about it and then I remember, I can’t just say it and slam my mouth shuts.

“A friend I miss…” I half lie.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He frowns and I grab his hands.

“Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault they found somebody better.” He throws his arms around me and crushes me in a hug.

“Shut up. Don’t you ever say that again. They’re stupid and blind. You’re great, Ry.” He says, completely oblivious.

“They aren’t. Trust me, they’re really great. They just never knew I loved them…” I breathe and he gives me a small squeeze before pulling away. I can’t help it when I reach up and wipe the tears from his eyes, “Now, crying over a person who doesn’t deserve it is a big no, no.” I tease and he gives me a half smile.

“I just think that he’s desperate… Brendon that is.” Sighs Dallon and I ruffle his hair.

“Do you really want me to try and help?” I give in and he nods his head vigorously.

“Yes! Please! It’ll mean everything to me!” He pleads and I relent.

“Okay… We’ll think of something.”

|||

We’re invited to a party and Dallon brings Brendon. Never has a car ride been more awkward, well, for me at least.

They were so… Compatible…

I just couldn’t bear it. 

We get there and I’m instantly abandoned and feel horribly awkward. As you may have guessed, I am in no means, a people person. 

So, I sit in a corner and wait for Dallon and Brendon to tell me they want to leave.

I get hit on by a few girls and a guy or two but I just don’t want to talk to anybody. If anything, I want to sit and cry while watching shit movies by myself and maybe massage the half-blind ostrich a bit.

But, here I am, stuck alone in the corner of a home that was not my own, feeling out of place and ready to go. I feel like the people in those movies, they sit for hours on a couch and everybody moves rapidly around me, yet it still feels like an eternity.

Dallon comes over after an hour or so and I stand, expecting him to be ready to leave.

“Help me make him jealous!” He begs and I look at him weirdly, “Give me a lap dance or something!”

And that’s how I wound up on Dallon’s lap, grinding on him to the beat of the music, touching him all over, my hands roaming his body and my pants are so tight. I have a lump in my throat and want to scream while being unable to speak all at once. I was trembling and my heart was racing and I couldn’t breathe properly. Holy shit… This was happening.

Brendon rounds the corner after about ten minutes of this and I was so close to cumming in my fucking pants, “Dallon!” He calls before spotting us and I watch his smile fall.

I look back at Dallon. 

I know it’s wrong and bad and I shouldn’t say it but I don’t care about Brendon, I don’t care about how sad he is right now. I feel like I could throw-up just from being able to do this and Dallon looked so good, he was hot and sweaty and his face was all shiny and his lips were so bright.

And I kiss him.

It surprises me as much as it surprises him. 

He pushes me off of him and I hit the floor. He stomps off and Brendon looks at me and down the hall to where Dallon had ran… 

He dashes after Dallon and I’m not surprised by that at all.

I drink and sit by myself and drink some more. It’s probably one in the morning before I decide it’s time to go. 

I wander through the house and search each room for Dallon, I mostly walk in on people making out or fucking. 

And then I find it.

Dallon and Brendon in a room, kissing and touching and… And everything I wanted…

I stand and watch, unable to turn away, unable to move or react. I just start to cry as I stand in shock in the doorway.

Dallon notices me and pulls back from Brendon.

“Ry, what are you doing?” He asks, he can’t see my face as all the lights in the room are off.

I don’t answer, “Ryan?” Brendon asks.

“Do you want to leave? I know that you don’t like being around people long.”

“I’ll take a cab.” My voice trembles as I turn around.

“Hey! Ry! Come here! Are you okay!?” Dallon shouts and I just run out, I’m crying and pushing through people until I’m outside.

I’m all alone again and I start to walk, it’s aimless as I just make my way down the sidewalk, tears running down my face and snot dripping from my nose, my eyes red and my chest aching. I am such a wreck.

The alcohol is starting to take affect and I’m tipsy, it makes it harder to walk with alcohol clouding my mind and tears clouding my vision.

I sigh and sit on the curb, defeat runs over me. 

I wish these stupid feelings never came back… 

Tears fall down my cheeks and I press my face into my knees. I can hear heavy footsteps from a distance and try and curl up further, trying to disappear.

They slow and soon halt and I feel the presence of another person next to me. A hand goes to me back and I let out a sob. I know it’s Dallon just from the way he touches me.

“Ryan…” I hear and I shake my head in my legs.

“No… Just leave me alone…” I hiccup.

“Ryan… What’s wrong?” He sighs.

“Just go fucking make-out with Brendon again…” I mutter.

“Brendon called an Uber.” He says, “It’s all us right now, just you and I… Talk to me.” He begs and I shake my head at him, “Come on, Ry. I’m your best friend.”

“Yeah.” I grumble.

“Please look at me.” He pleads and I shake my head for the thousandth time.

“Just go away, Dallon.” I huff.

“No, I’m not leaving you alone out here in the middle of the night, especially not when you’re this vulnerable.” He insists and I turn to face him, angry and upset.

“Just fuck off!” I yell, “Can’t you see that you’re the last person I want to talk to right now!?” Dallon flinches at my sudden outburst.

“I…” He starts, “I don’t know what I did but… I’m sorry.” He frowns and drops his arm from my back.

“Exactly…. You never, ever see that you’re always hurting me.” I place my head in my hands, “But I’m the idiot here because I don’t just fucking leave or do anything about it because I’m fucking stupid.” I sob.

“Ry…” He frowns, “Why do you say that…?” Dallon sounds hurt, “What did I do? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You can’t help it.” I say, “No matter what you do, it’ll always hurt.” I cry softly.

“Ryan… Please tell me what I’m doing… I’m your best friend, I don’t want to be hurting you.”

“Exactly, Dallon, that is exactly it! To you, I’m just your best friend and I’ll never, ever be anything more.” My voices breaks and trails off and I break into hysterical sobs.

He sits silent, staring at me for a long time, far too long. I want to fucking cease to exist in that moment. I hate myself for telling him. He’s dumb enough to believe it if I said that it was that I wanted Brendon or whatever.

I cry hard and start to cough so hard that my lungs and throat ache. Dallon’s arms go around me and he pulls me against him. I struggle in his grasp but he refuses to let me go and I melt.

I give in and let him hold me as I bawl my heart out. I’m so crushed and wished I was dead. 

I’ve seen Dallon naked, I’ve caught him clubbing the clam, I’ve held his hair back while he puked and comforted him while he cried. Nothing ever ruined what we had and I know that I fucked up by doing this, I know for a fact that this is the one thing that can and will change what we are. 

I know that it will ruin us just by how he’s acting right now and I hate myself.

I wish I were Brendon. He can have pretty much anything he wants. He’s so flawless that anybody would run after him.

Anybody but me because I’m a fucking loser and I’m stuck on this kid that I’ve wanted since high school.

“Ryan, I don’t want this to change anything but like… I… I love Brendon and I am so sorry… I just don’t think that we should date, I don’t want to throw away our friendship if our relationship ends poorly.” He says and my heart collapses.

I slam my hands to his chest hard, pushing him back and causing him to let me go. I get to my feet and start walking the opposite direction, towards where the party was.

“Ryan! Hey! I’m sorry!” Dallon jumps and hurries to catch up with me and I whip around to face him. The tears streaming down my face and I look like a fucking idiot.

“Fuck you! If you were really sorry you wouldn’t have fucking made me grind on you and you wouldn’t have shoved me off like I was nothing and you would have cared! You wouldn’t have hurt me!” I shove him and he stumbles slightly.

He closes his eyes as tears fall from his own eyes, “Ryan, you have no idea how bad I feel. I just… I can’t do this, I can’t lose you for something stupid or-”

“Something stupid!?” I cut him off, “My feelings are just some worthless, stupid thing to you, huh!? I mean nothing, everything I just said to you meant nothing?!” I bawl, “You’re a fucking dickhead, Dallon! Go fuck your whore!” I spin and hurry off. I’m not running but I’m walking fast.

Dallon calls after me but I don’t turn, “That’s not what I mean, Ry!” I walk faster and get back to the party.

I go in and get fucking wasted. I just wanted to not think for a few hours.

And I pulled out my phone and called the first person that came up.

|||

“Ryan… You’re really drunk.” He says and I nod as I push myself more onto him, kissing his plump lips, so soft and smooth.

“Yeah, I know…” I trail off as I kiss him harder. He holds me and runs his hands up my shirt. I run my tongue along his bottom lip and he lets me explore his mouth.

I unbutton his pants and slide my hands down them, palming his crotch and he starts to moan. I get his jeans off and he returns the favor.

“Do you have lube?” I mumble as I kiss his chest, leaving hickeys under my mouth. He shifts under me slightly as he tries to reach for a side table near the couch.

“There should be some in here.” I glance up with only my eyes, he points to a drawer in the end table. 

I sit back and allow him to reach in and grab the bottle of gel. I run my hands town his chest and toned stomach, stopping at his crotch, palming him and he's really hard. I'm not that into it. I mean, hell yeah I have a hard-on but like, he's not Dallon and he's  _ kissed _ Dallon, so he's obviously not my favorite person.

He squirms under my touch, panting and letting out pleading whimpers. I decide I'm not nearly hard enough, I only have a half-chub really, but I choose to give him a blowey and see if that did anything for my situation.

I gently slide his boxers off and spit in the palm of my hand, he gives me an odd look but I take his dick in my hand and run my hand up and down over the shaft to get it somewhat ‘lubed’ up with my saliva. 

“What are you doing?” He eyes me over and I give him a wink in reply, leaning down placing my lips over the tip of his cock, “Oh…” He realizes and relaxes, pressing his fingers into my hair, pulling at it softly. 

I run my tongue around the head and slide it between the tip and shaft. He gasps and moans my name. I wince at the sound. It's just not right.

I bob my head down and move my tongue around his member. He whimpers and grabs his fists full of my hair, pulling harder. My dick is like a boiled noodle at this point but I just decide to pretend as I do when I charm the python.

I think of Dallon, though he may not be as big as Dallon is, it's close enough for what I've got. 

I prop myself up on my elbows slightly and hold his sides. He doesn't feel like Dallon either but whatever.

I lean down and his dick presses down my throat. I almost gag but I shut my eyes harder, beating the thought of Dallon naked into my head and letting my fantasies run wild. 

I work more with my tongue, feeling his fingers curl with pleasure, “Fuck…” He hums with his head thrown back. My already tight boxers get unbearably tight at the thought of this being Dallon, of me sucking off my best friend.

I barely notice him cumming down my throat and only do because I gag and have to pull away.

“Oh, shit, sorry, I didn't even think to say anything.” He apologizes and I shake my head, swallowing hard to keep his seamen down.

“It's fine, I'm gonna need the lube now though.” I cough and he nods, grabbing it from the floor where it had been discarded. As he does that I get my boxers off and think harder about Dallon, forcing myself to keep the erection I had gotten.

He pours lube into the palm of his hand and runs it over my cock. I shiver, his hands are freezing.

I pull his legs up over me getting in position. Though I remember that I can't just go right in and place two fingers to his hole. 

“You ready?” I ask him and he nods his head impatiently. I then proceed to press my fingers into him and realize he's already stretched quite a bit, so I push in a third finger and notice him tense.

I move my fingers around slightly and he makes a pleasured gagging sound. It was weird.

I push in a fourth finger and he moans, I keep my fingers pressed into him for a bit before pulling my hand back. 

He whines at the sudden loss of pressure. And I position myself at his ass. He nods for me to go ahead so I press the tip into his loose asshole.

He moans and I think more of Dallon. Gently I rock my hips forward and realize it's too hard to move when in the current position.

“Sit on my dick.” I say as I lean back against the arm of the couch. He moves and my cock is removed from him. 

I slide down more on the couch, almost laying down and he straddles me. I grab my dick and hold it still so he doesn't end up breaking it when he sits. 

I feel him go down onto my member and I'm inside him again. He leans up and sits back, he's so slow, I'd never get off this way, “Faster.” I practically demand and he obeys, bouncing on my cock, slowly getting faster with each movement. 

I close my eyes, Dallon, I can't help but to imagine him kissing my neck and his hands roaming my body. I can't hold back the moan that rumbles from my chest. 

“Oh, fuck…” I hum. “Shit…” I pant as he moves quickly. 

Dallon's sweaty face, eyes closed and head tossed back comes to mind, the events from early tonight appear in my head. My hands running over him and my body grinding on Dallon’s.

I grab his wrists and hold onto them as he moves on me. I know they aren't Dallon's but I shake it from my head.

I think about being slammed to the wall, my legs wrapped around Dallon's perfect waist, his dick in me and his mouth pushed to mine.

“Fuck… Dallon…” I choke out and the movement stops just as I cum. 

I open my eyes and I'm looking at Brendon and all the alcohol seems to leave my head.

“You just called me Dallon…” He gets off of me, I can hear the hurt in his voice.

“I'm sorry, Brendon... “ I sigh, “I'm sorry… I'm drunk and not thinking and I'm so sorry.”

“You wouldn't have done it then if you were really sorry.” He says and it's basically a slap in the face. 

I had said the exact same thing to Dallon earlier.

I stand and get my clothes on, “I really am sorry… I'm just gonna go…” I frown and he nods.

“Yeah, I think that'd be best.” He nods and I leave without another word.

|||

I get home and realize that Dallon had the key and I didn't. I stand outside and ponder whether or not I should ring the bell or just go stay at Ronnie’s.

Eventually I realize I feel to sick to walk all the way to Ronnie’s and I didn't have my wallet to call an Uber.

I ring the bell about three times before the door opens. Dallon is stood, eyes red and bloodshot, on the other side.

He steps back inside, not saying a word to me.

I follow him and shut the door, locking it behind myself.

“Dal.” I say and he glances back at me.

“What?” He huffs.

“I'm really sorry, I'm so sorry about everything.” I sit on the couch and place my head in my hands.

He stands at the end of the hall for a long while before joining me. He places a hand on my back and I look up at him solemnly.

“Are you okay?” He asks me and I shake my head.

“I'm so sorry, Dallon… I went and got drunk and I ended up… I ended up at Brendon's…” I start to cry again for the millionth time tonight and I feel Dallon hug me.

“It's okay… He called and told me… You called him my name?” He questions and I can hear a hint of a laugh in his voice.

“Yeah… It was an accident.” I sigh, “I'm really, really sorry.” I frown and Dallon shakes his head.

“Don't be… Brendon asked me out.” He says, he doesn't sound as happy as I expected.

“I'm happy for you.” I mumble, “I'm really tired.” I start to stand but Dallon pulls me back to the couch.

“How about we watch movies and you sleep here?” He offers.

“Well, I'm still kinda drink and feel crappy.” I explain but he hugs me tighter.

I relent after a moment and curl up on the couch and rest my head on Dallon as he turns on the TV. 

He starts to flip through the channels and stops after a bit and looks at me, “You seriously moaned my name?” He starts to laugh and I do also.

“Yeah, I couldn't really get into it so I imagined he was you and not Brendon.” I chuckle sheepishly.

Dallon smiles and ruffles my hair, “You're an idiot.” He smiles at me fondly, “Thanks for being my friend, Ryan… I couldn't ask for anybody better.” He speaks truthfully.

“I'm very sure that you could do much better, find a friend that doesn't daydream about fucking you, ya’ know?” I smile.

“I wouldn't have it any other way.” He jokes and I smile.

“I love you, Dal.”

“Love you too, my dude.” He grins at me and I promptly vomit in his lap.

|||

I sigh as I strip down in the bathroom, getting ready to shower. I hadn't turned the water or my music on yet. 

Yes, I listen to music in the shower, do you have a problem with that?

It had been probably two weeks since the whole Brendon incident and everything seemed to have cooled down. Dallon and I were closer than before so that was good.

I guess that's what happens when you like in somebody's lap.

I pull my boxers off last and plug my phone into my speaker.

I'm scrolling through spotify, trying to find a playlist when the door is tossed open. Me being me I turn to look at it, forgetting I'm not clothed.

“Shit! Ryan!” He gasps as his eyes scan over me for a second before he realizes that I'm definitely naked.

He spins on his head and hurries out.

I'm too in shock to do anything but put music on and take two or three hours to get ready.

|||

“Hey, Dal, I'm really sorry about-" I freeze as I reach the end of the hall, towel in hand, drying my hair.

Brendon and him are on the couch, holding hands and facing each other, like the time Brendon came here and we talked. 

Brendon kisses Dallon and Dallon giggles like a schoolgirl with his cheeks all pink. 

I quickly duck back into the hall and drop to the floor. I cover my mouth to hide my shaking breaths, tears prick at my eyes. I peer over to watch them.

“I didn't really see it until last night. I was kinda caught on your Ryan because he reminded me of like, my Ryan in some ways… But like, yesterday when I saw him on your lap, it caused something in me to just snap and I realized it hurt because I wanted you.” Brendon rambles and kisses Dallon.

“I've really liked you since we first met… You just caught my eye.” Dal drools and I practically gag. 

This makes me feel like I could pass out or vomit, I couldn't tell which. I also wasn't sure if I felt that way from the hangover or from them or a mixture of the both.

“Man you're cute…” Brendon kisses him for a third time. This time it lingers and he tries to push Dallon back to the couch but he pushes Brendon back.

“I… I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me.” He shakes his head and kisses Brendon again but almost instantly breaks it.

“What? Did I do something?” Asks Brendon.

“No, it's not you… This just feels wrong.” 

I almost gasp at his words. Why all of a sudden was he backing away?

“What are you talking about, Dallon?” Brendon sounds angry.

“I don't know… I'm sorry, Brendon.” He shakes his head and stands.

I pull back and jump to my feet, hurrying to make it look like I wasn't watching this happen.

“Ryan! Are you done in the bathroom!?” He shouts and I enter the living room.

“Yep, just finished. It's all yours.” I say and make my way back to my room.

I wait to see if Dallon goes back out and after about ten minutes I get worried.

I knock on the door, “Dallon?” I speak and hear the sink shit off.

“Yeah?” He replies.

“You alright?” I ask him with my normal worry, “You've just been in there a bit and I kinda don't feel well.” At least it wasn't a lie.

“One sec.” He answers quickly and the water starts up again. It shuts off after a moment and he steps out. He looks a mess.

“Are you sure you're okay?” I brush my hand over his forehead.

“I'm fine, Ry… Are you? You look a bit pale.” He touches my forehead this time.

“Yeah, hangover from hell though.” I half-smile. Dallon and I had a movie night where we got drunk and watched movies made for small children.

“Awe, I'm sorry.” He pats my head and steps out of the way.

I enter the bathroom and take some pills, hoping they'd settle my stomach and cure my pounding headache. 

I step out after a few minutes and make my way down the hall, wanting to get something to eat from the kitchen in hopes that it would help my hangover. I reach the end and hear Dallon rambling, I shrug it off until I hear my name. 

“Is it because I fucked Ryan?” Brendon pipes up and I glance in to see Dallon pacing.

“Well… No, I just… I've been thinking a lot…” He starts and I can hear his voice is full of nerves.

“What about?” Brendon questions as Dallon stops speaking for probably a good solid three minutes.

“Um… So, I-... I'm not sure but, I just… I think I might be in love with Ryan…” 

I choke as I hear that, covering my mouth and ducking into the nearest room, which just so happened to be Dallon's.

“I-... I'm not sure though… I just… I've been thinking and I don't know if I can do this Brendon…” Dallon sighs and I stand choking to death in his room. 

I can't hear what else he says as I try and calm myself down. All I know is that Brendon is gone by the time I step into the living room.

Dallon is on the couch with his head in his hands and I join him, wrapping an arm over his shoulder. His head tips up to look at me.

“Hi.” He smiles weakly at me.

“Hi.” I say, feeling bad for him.

“How you feeling?” He asks, placing an arm over me.

“I'm fine, Dal… I think you're the one who needs to be asked how they're doing?” I hum and he shakes his head.

“I dumped Brendon.” He tells me.

“Awe, baby.” I hug him and he pushes my arms off, “Come on, you know you want it.” I hold my arms out and he sighs at me, leaning against me and letting my arms go around him.

“I finally had him, Ry… I finally got the guy I've been chasing and I have to go and overthink everything and ruin it.” He sniffles and presses his face into the crook of my neck.

“At least you didn't run off and sleep with some guy that you didn't even like just because you were desperate.” I say, petting his hair.

“I fell in love with someone else.” I feel him sigh, his hot breath running over my skin.

“Who?” I ask even though I knew.

Dallon shakes his head at me, “Nobody.” He mumbles.

“You don't have to tell me if you don't want. We can watch movies while I try and rid this dreaded hangover.” I chuckle and he smiles at me.

“Thanks Ry…” He wraps his arms around me, “Thank you.” I lean against him.

“No need to thank me.” I pat his head and he grins at me, curling up on the couch with me, “Put on anything you like.”

|||

Dallon fell asleep on me. He was precious. We had called my friend that works at a pizza place down the street and got him to bring us pizza and ice cream even though it was his day off. He was a good dude. Dallon and I ate until we got bored and then played some twenty questions and games like that before he fell asleep watching ‘ _ Dirty Dancing _ ’ with me.

I play with his hair and stare blankly at the TV for a while before deciding I needed some sleep too.

I turned on the show ‘ _ Psych _ ’ and shifted around a bit, laying my head on top of Dallon's and drifting off.

|||

I'm awoken at around one or two in the morning to the clang of pots and pans from the kitchen. I sit up and notice that Dallon is missing.

I stand and wobble into the kitchen sleepily. I find him in a pair of loose pajama pants, stood at the stove. I rub my eyes to shake the sleep from myself.

I stare at him subconsciously, his back was nice, you could see the bones popping out in his shoulders and his spine but his sides had cute little love handles that I wanted to squish. I knew Dallon was ashamed of himself but in all honestly, I liked that body type. I wouldn't ever be able to see him all jacked and built even though that's what he craves. I would love to look like him, I mean, I don't hate my body or anything, I'm naturally scrawny but sometimes I wished that I could not be all bones.

His shoulder blades flex and his skin tightens against his bones as he reaches up for a bowl in the cabinet above him. 

I lean against the doorway, my sleepy gaze locked on him.

He catches a glimpse of me out of the corner of his eye and jumps, letting out a yell and tossing a hand to his chest.

“Ryan! You scared the hell out of me! Why didn't you say anything?” He pants.

“I'm just… Trying to figure out what the hell you could be making at this hour.” I lie and he probably could see right through my lie.

“Making some Ramen, want some?” He offers and I grin.

“Are you gonna be frying those?” I ask, pointing at the chopped vegetables on the counter.

“Yeah, I was starting the oil.” He smiles.

“I'm down if you're alright with it.” I grin.

Dallon smiles back and turns to the stove, turning on the oil and pouring the vegetables in. The oil hisses and spits. 

I hop up onto the counter nearby. My eyes run over Dallon as he cooks, too focused on the food to notice me staring.

His chest had a few small hairs on it, not much, which I was into, I didn't care much for hairy guys. His belly was flat but kind of had that little round part that poked out at the bottom. Though he had a very, very defined v-line that made me weak.

His pants hung down on him low enough that I could see his ‘ _ happy trail _ ’ and fuck was that name an understatement.

“Hey, my eyes are up here, you.” He taps my nose and I jump, almost falling off the counter.

“I know where you're eyes are, Dal.” I am a furiously bright red and I cannot hide the fact that I'm literally about to pass out from embarrassment.

“Are you sure?” He says, noticing I'm still staring at his body, well, I'm  _ trying  _ to make it look like I'm looking at the floor, though I'm obviously failing.

“Mmhm.” I bite down on my bottom lip as I turn only my eyes to look into his.

He smirks and goes back to his vegetables. I felt like I could explode, like my head could just pop right off my shoulders.

“Hey, Ry.” Dallon pipes up after a moment and I look up at him, still violently red and he snaps a picture on his phone with a laugh.

“Dallon!” I shout and grab for his phone but he pulls it back, sticking it in his pocket, “Asshole…” I grumble, turning away with my face ablaze.

He made me so flustered.

Before I even notice, he's done with our food and placing the bowls on the table.

“How do you make Ramen fucking noodles look like a fancy Chinese dish?” I chuckle as I sit at the table.

Dallon shrugs and sits beside me. I slide my chair closer to him and move my bowl as well, leaning my head on his shoulder.

“What are you doing, moron?” He grins at me.

“I'm lazy.” I reply as I scoop a forkful of noodles into my mouth. Dallon laughs at me and I sit up, noodles dangling from my lips as I suck them into my mouth like a child.

Dallon watches me, looking me over a bit. 

He then leans in and kisses me.

Noodles dripping from my mouth and all, he still kisses me and I choke on the food out of pure shock.

I somehow manage not to heave it up on to the table as Dallon pats my back while I cough and cough, miraculously able to swallow the mouthful I had.

“Are you alright?” Dallon worries as I regain my composure.

“I just nearly died but other than that I’m fantastic.” I wheeze as he rubs circles on my back.

“Hey, I’m sorry about that…” He bites his lips and I look over to see his cheeks and nose are tinted all red.

I start to smile at the sight of him, “You look so nice when you’re all red.” I blurt without thinking.

“Oh! Um… T-Thank you.” He hums as he grows redder.

Now I’m red and we’re both flustered and nobody is eating, just staring at each other foolishly.

Dallon has a small bit of parsley on his lip and I point, “You have-... I’ll just get it.” I lean in and kiss him, quick and simple and pull back.

“Now it’s on your mouth stupid.” He laughs and brushes his mouth on mine, running his tongue over my bottom lip and pulling away, “Is it back on my mouth or did I get it?” He laughs and I do as well.

“You’ve got it.” I smile at him.

“Nah, I think I missed it.” He says, pushing our mouths together yet again, he doesn’t pull away this time, placing a hand to the back of my neck. I move, fumbling onto his lap. He grabs my side with his massive hand, keeping me steady on his lap. I squeeze his little love handles and he tries to push my hands away, letting go of my side.

“Just let me, it’s okay…” I keep the kiss, brushing our lips as we speak.

He stops struggling, sucking at my bottom lip and I move my hands up to grip his hair, pulling him closer.

He pulls away after a bit, gasping for air and I grin.

“Dallon, I heard you talking to Brendon…” I admit and he grows pale.

“How much did you hear?”

“I heard you say you think you’re in love with me.” I speak and he seems to get anxious, “You know I’m in love with you, you don’t have to be worried I’d reject you.” I grin, moving in to kiss him again but he stops me.

“That’s not it… I just… I don’t want to ruin… You know… Us…” He rubs at the back of his neck and I sigh, grabbing his hand, “I couldn’t bear to lose you, I mean, what if it went bad? Then what?” He frowns and I roll my eyes.

“You worry more than me…” I tease, “Dallon, it won’t end bad. We’ve seen each other at our best and at our worst and everything in between. If nothing has broken us yet, nothing ever will.”

“But it’s different when you break-up as a couple. Things get too weird.”

“But why would we break up? Like I said, if nothing has pulled us apart yet then nothing will.” I say and he sighs.

“I’m just afraid to lose you.” He murmurs.

“You can never lose me. I have seen you naked, you can’t push me away after that.” I watch as a smile invades his face and I also can’t help but to grin back. I press a small kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Our food is quickly forgotten about.

|||

Dallon plays with my hair. It’s been awhile since we started officially, unofficially dating. Probably close to three to four months.

“When did you realize you liked me?” Asks Dallon, looking over at me as I played on my phone.

“Uh, when we were sixteen I like, came, every single time I saw you.” I say awkwardly. Dallon laughs so hard that he can’t make a sound.

“Are you serious?” He croaks.

“Oh, sadly I am.” 

“Wait, you liked me for that long and didn’t say anything?” He faces me, now fully serious.

“Well, I liked you for almost two years and then it faded for a long time and then I didn’t realize that I had started crushing on you again until I walked in on you roughing the suspect and all…” I laugh and Dallon presses his face into my shoulder to muffle his, “When did you realize that you liked me?”

“Correction, loved… And I had a crush on you for like two months when we first moved in together and then it went away until that night that you puked in my lap. Like, after we got cleaned up and everything and were laying on the couch, you fell asleep on me and… Well, I don’t know.. I just looked at your sleeping face and you were drooling on my shoulder and snoring a bit but you looked so small and it just… Something just clicked and I realized I never stopped loving you.” He says and I look up at him in awe.

“You’re telling the truth…” I say, “That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.” I coo as I grab his hand.

“I love you.” He tells me and I kiss him.

“I love you too, Dallon.”

No longer am I a sixteen year old that cums in his pants every time I see Dallon. I save the cumming for better things now.

  
  
  



End file.
